Kung Fu Panda Oneshots
by broken soldier
Summary: A collection of oneshots I have put together. I will be updating quite a bit. Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1: The Chase

_**This is just a short that popped into my head. It takes place a few weeks after the unfinished story [Kung Fu Panda: The End]. This will be the first of a series of stories covering the misadventures of Hunter, Po, and the Furious Five. I'm still writing for my other story, but I needed to type up something different.**_

* * *

It wasn't bad out today. The sun was out, but it was chilly. A problem easily solved by popping up the hood on my rust colored tunic. I didn't wear shoes, but that didn't matter right now. Right now, I was running for my life through a forest of bamboo. A problem not so easily solved. I could hear the beast of my nightmares' heavy breathing as it crashed it's way through the thick vegitation, getting closer and closer every second. I was a fast fox, but this thing was much faster. The only thing slowing the abomination down was the bamboo, and even then it was gaining on me. I was dry-heaving and every breath hurt. My sides were burning like a wildfire, sweat was stinging my eyes, and my lips were dry and cracked from the cold air, and I had cotton mouth from lack of water.

I could hear it's claws scraping the ground and ripping through the bamboo, and it was getting louder. Then, it stopped. It didn't fade. It just _stopped_. I kept running, though. Not to long after the noise ceased, I broke out from the lush vegitation into a field that led to a cliff. The mass of rock and dirt had to be at least sixty feet high, and the breathing had started again, though somewhat slower and less laboured then before. I turned to see to bright orange eyes staring out from the darkness, and they were getting closer. The beast stepped out from the darkness, it's large black claws leaving small ditches in the earth. The teeth were large and perly white, drooling in anticipation for it's treat. A.k.a, me. It was taking it's time, relishing in the fact that it had me cornered. It was only a foot or so away now, and as it advanced, I retreated until I slammed into the cliff face.

_''This is it. There's no way out. It's over._", I thought in despair.

It was inches away now, and it reared up on it's hind legs to stand a few feet taller than it already was. The beast looked down at me, a small fox with his ears pinned to his head and shaking like a leaf, and grabbed me by my collar. It lifted me to eye level once again, ripping holes in my tunic in the process and moved it's mouth closer to me. I could feel it's hot breath running down my neck, a stark contrast to the frigid temperatures. It brought it's razor sharp fangs close to my ear to take the first bite.

"Tag. You're it.", she whispered right into my ear.

With that, the animal laughed, dropped me and sped off, leaving me on the ground with holes in my tunic.

"Dammit Tigress! You ripped my shirt!", I shouted after her.

"Catch me if you can!", she yelled from the bamboo.

"You damn well **know** I can't!"

"That's what makes it fun!", she answered. Tigress, Po, Viper, Monkey and I have been playing tag for hours. Mantis and Crane opted to work inside, though. Crane was working on his calligraphy, and Mantis was experimenting with some medicinal ingredients. Good thing, too. Mantis would be to fast to catch, not to mention we might smash him. Crane could just swoop in from above and go back up just as quickly before we could tag him back. The rest of us were more easily matched, accept for me. I have no Kung Fu training. No stamina, no balance, no endurance. All I can do is find cover. The only person I had a chance of catching was Po.

"Come on Monkey! Just one cookie!" Speaking of which...

* * *

The panda was walking with Monkey under a small overhanging. The primate was currently digging into his cookie stash, which he has decided to carry with him everywhere due to Po always finding his treats, no matter where he hides them.

"I'm sorry Po, but you never want just one cookie.", answered the primate.

"Just one! I promise!"

"No, Po."

"Pleeeeease!", whined Po.

"No."

I was sitting above them on the ledge, vine in hand. I had it tied to the rock, and was planning to swing down and tag Po during the swing. I wasn't even sure the vine would hold, but I was going to have to take that chance. Whoever's it at sundown needs to clean the Hall of Warriors. Including every. Single. Scroll. No thank you. And the sun was already setting. With that, I tightened my grip, and jumped with a yell.

"Tarzaaaaaan!", I screamed.

"What?", Po only had time to ask that before he got a face full of rust colored cloth and Brown fur as I smacked his shoulder.

"Tag! You're it!", I yelled, already swinging back to land on the ground. I hit the stone with a quiet 'thump' and took off running towards the Palace as fast as I could. Just then, the Gong rang, signaling the end of the day.

"Aw man...", I heard Po sigh.

"Sorry Po, but it looks like you lost.", chided Monkey. "Better get the feather duster. That's alot of scrolls."

"Save me some noodles?", he asked feebly.

"I don't know, Po. Hunter looks like he worked up quite an apetite."

After that, I ran to the palace grounds, Monkey in tow, leaving Po to jog slowly after us.


	2. Chapter 2: Talk With Tigress

_**This one is an experiment I did a while ago. I tried to paint a picture using ony dialogue (obviously). Hope it worked. **_

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"Come in, Lun Li."

"Are you ready? The others are waiting for you so we can leave for the festival."

"Yes... I'm ready."

"Is something wrong, Tigress?"

"No. Nothing. Let's go."

"You are a bad liar, Tigress. Now please, sit down with me and tell me what's wrong."

"Fine."

"Now, what's bothering you? This should be a happy time. For all of us."

"It's just that, with Po being the Dragon Warrior, it's like the rest of us don't exist anymore."

"Like _you_ don't exist anymore, Tigress?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand. You're the protectors of this valley. The people, they look up to you. Why would you feel this way?"

"It's just that I- we've saved this village so many times from bandits, and armies, even an evil dictator or two. Po's just arrived, and when he saves a baby, he gets a festival and a statue erected in gratitude."

"And you get nothing?"

"Exactly."

"Tigress. Don't you think that's a bit childish?"

"Childish?! I've worked myself to death all my life! I don't deserve a festival?!"

"You've worked yourself to death for these people."

"No, Lun Li. I worked myself to death for me. So I could get Shifu's approval."

"So?"

"It's a selfish reason."

"It doesn't matter, Tigress. What matters is what you've done with all of that work. You could have used it for personal gain, like Tai Lung, but you didn't! You used it to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. You use what you have for good."

"And I get nothing in return! It's not like I'm asking for a golden spear made from the gold of the townspeople's jewelry. I just want a 'thank you, Master Tigress".

"Tigress, you get everything. You were trained under one of the greatest Kung Fu masters in history, you have complete control over Tiger Style Kung Fu and know its techniques like the back of your hand. You have a roof over your head, and noodles cooked by one of the greatest chefs on this side of the Pan Gau River. Well, you would if you'd try them. Not to mention, you have six of the greatest friends in all of China."

"Not six, Lun Li."

"Oh?"

"Seven."

"Let's see. Mantis, Monkey, Po, Viper, Crane, Master Shifu... Who is the seventh?"

"I'll give you a hint. He's about two feet tall, wears white pants."

"Is he agile?"

"He's very agile."

"Swift like the wind?"

"Yes."

"Handsome?"

"Oh, for crying out loud. Lun Li! It's you!"

"I know. I just wanted someone to say it. Nobody's said I was handsome in at least a day."

"Alright. You're handsome. Can we go to the festival now?"

"Of course. After you, Master Tigress."

"You don't have to bow, Lun Li."

"I know. It's a sign of respect. A thank you."

"Tigress. You bowed back."

"A thank you, Lun Li. And wipe that smirk off your face!"

"Wipe it off? Like this?"

"Stop rubbing your face like that! It's wierd!"

"Oh? Well maybe I should rub my face like this!"

"No!"

"Now maybe I'll rub your face!"

"Get those filthy paws away from me! Who knows where they've been!"

"They've been on my face! Now they've been on your face!"

"Why you little-! Oh, you're going to get it now!"

"Gah! Stop it! Your paws are way bigger than mine! It's like being smushed between Po's arms!"

"How about like this!"

"Get off!"

"Should I rub your face like this, Lun Li?"

"Tigress! Get away from me! I just got my whiskers straightened!"

"Get back here, houscat!"

"You'll have to catch me, dog-bait!"

**_END_**


End file.
